Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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