office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
