you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
