At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
