Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
