I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
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