Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
