i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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