Midget sex pt 2 tonight
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
