i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I love you. Go after that dick
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
