dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
sex in a hospital.. check
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
