belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
