On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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