I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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