Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
