Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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