can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
