We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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