guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
