I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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