The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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