Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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