just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
