I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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