That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
