I hate all girls vehemently.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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