You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
