that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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