i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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