i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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