what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize