i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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