come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
