How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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