if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
