I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
