I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
