I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
