i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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