doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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