Whod you bang
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
