his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
