rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
no you cant smoke seaweed
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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