I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
