Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
