found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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