I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Tornado booty call.. dedication
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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