Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
