Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize