You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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