NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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