i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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