how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
