His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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